I grew up in the US. But I was blessed to be immersed in 2 diverse backgrounds. My moms family is Mexican, Homemade Tamales, rice and beans y yo hablo poquito espanol. I grew up in a Chinese church. Went to Chinese school as a young child and even worshipped for most of my childhood in Chinese.
God has, for a long time, put on my heart evangelism. So in 2010, when we felt God asking us to leave that Chinese church we loved so dearly, we felt it was His calling into Full time Missions. And it was....
But in my limited wisdom, I thought we would go out and find a new church, and the right people and Gods direction and Mission organization would be clear.
After months of searching. We landed at Houston's first in Peter Swanns Sunday school class. To say that I was discouraged was an understatement. I mean in all honesty and transparency, I was disappointed. You see Peters lessons were life changing for me. They were different and challenging. But sitting in a Sunday School classroom at a Mega Church in Houston Texas was not what I had in mind when God laid "Full time missions" on my heart. And Every Village, then Aid Sudan was certainly not the organization God had in mind when he sent us out of our home church.... Besides, at the time, they didn't have full time missionaries there. And even more discouraging... Africa? I speak conversational Spanish! I love Latin and Asian culture, people, food, language. Surely somewhere along the line, we had made a mistake right?
But God is at work, even when we cannot see it... Amen?!
So I completely missed that these last 2 years were preparation for South Sudan. But that's okay right? Had I known we were headed there, i probably wouldn't have had so many children! Mud Hut living with three young children isn't very appealing.
But we don't have to see the big picture,right? In fact we can't see the big picture. He asks us to be faithful with each day. To give each day to him.
Fast Forward 2 years, to Summer 2012. I've given up on overseas missions. I've sort of "settled" that maybe Gods plan is much further out than we could see. And Jared comes to me and says, I feel like God is calling us to South Sudan to live as missionaries. After literally laughing out loud, I told him he was crazy. And he graciously asks, "Honey, will you pray about it?" It was a deer in the Headlights kind of look. "Sure, yeah I'll do that" I said, almost angry with Him. 3 Days later, the Lord had me on my knees in tears, as he confirmed for me that this was His plan. His story.
You see, if this was my story, we would have left for China, or Honduras, 2 years ago.I can literally see myself, opening up the yellow pages searching for Chines Mission Organizations...
And so as we work to fundraise and begin training for South Sudan, 1 important question keeps coming up, "What will you be doing there?"
Great Question. As we pray about our future there, God has made something very clear.
On October 26th, 1 year ago, Jared was on a short term trip to S Sudan. I had no idea that 9 months later God wold call us there. I recently found my notes from a devotional that I read and journaled at that time. I will paraphrase it for you :
A missionary is a person sent by Jesus. Just as Jesus was SENT by God. The controlling factor is not the needs of the people, but the command of Jesus.
There is great danger in missionary work. Gods call may be replaced by the needs of the people...to the point that human sympathy for those needs will overwhelm the meaning of being sent by Jesus. The needs are so enormous and the conditions so difficult that every power of the mind falters and fails. We can easily loose sight of our primary purpose, Matthew 28:19 , Therefore Go, and make disciples of all nations...
In our natural life our ambitions change as we grow. But in the Christian life.... the goal that is given to us at the beginning is the same even to the end. Jesus Christ. We start with Him and we end with Him. But sometimes the enemy will try to distract us. Towards putting our focus on what We think the Christian life should look like. The goal of the missionary, that's you and me, is to do Gods will. Not to be useful, or win the lost. A missionary, that's you and me, WILL be useful and WILL win the lost, but that is not our goal. Our goal is to do the will of our Lord!
So, What will we be doing there? We have training and plans and goals.....but ultimately we will give each day to Him. I can rest in what He has shown me, He is at work even when I can't see it. I can rest in the promises He's given me for this nation.
And I can see that their will be struggles and tears, and even disappointments.... But at the end of the day our goal will be the same... Jesus Christ. And He is worth it!
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