Sometimes I am so blind. Turns out, that is OK.

   A little over 8 weeks ago Keisha and I were given an assignment in our training with Every Village to come up with a strategy to reach out to people. Very soon I felt the Lord leading us to sit with a sign in a public place that said "How may we pray for you" --Simple idea. We had no idea if it was a good strategy or if it works, but we went with it. --

     We have been going every Friday at 3pm to Memorial Park with our sign and sitting there waiting. Normally we have one, and only one, person stop for prayer. Last Friday was a little different though and it put the rest of our time in perspective. At first we had some interactions with people that didn’t stop but just answered our sign with fun things like “that I can finish this lap strong”  and “that I don’t pass out” We also had a lady stop and ask for prayer for her father who has cancer. God keeps encouraging us with at least one request each time we go but the Lord really encouraged me on a much deeper level this time. As I sat there and pondered why I was sitting there and about the presence and activity of God. I suddenly knew that it did not matter if people stopped or not. It does not matter if we have spontaneous  relationships with people that do not know Jesus, or if we see people come to trust in Jesus through those relationships. Of course that is our hope and our purpose for being there (as well as to encourage and pray on others behalf hoping God will answer and draw people closer to Himself) but  in the end it does not matter what we saw with our eyes.  It does not matter if we are gratified by a positive result. Could it be that the sign and the weekly presence is making an impact on hundreds of people that I will never see? Is it possible that the Lord regularly answers our prayer... that there is a “distinct feeling of peace and warmth as people pass in front of us”? What is the impact of this momentary event?  

     As I watched pairs of people look over and start talking about the sign, I don’t know if they are making fun or if they are starting a life altering conversation about their differing beliefs. I am realizing though, that God does what He wants and He is capable of the latter. The most encouraging part though is that results matter a lot less than before. It’s a lot harder to become discouraged knowing that there are unseen things happening below the surface. There is an untold number of small interactions we have throughout our years that are unbeknownst to us, absolutely changing lives. There are moments in our life that we walk away from saying, “I failed” and maybe God has used them more powerfully than the opportunities that we wish we had. I know this, your God is indeed using your life even if you can’t really see how, and one day when all that is sad becomes untrue, and we are at the wedding supper that is promised, there will be some talk of the things that He did, that we were blind to see. 

It is not your business to succeed, but to do right; when you have done so, the rest lies with God. -C.S. Lewis

Vision Trip

(Bad punctuation follows)

In March of this year, our team went to visit Nasir, and I had the opportunity to see the place where I would be moving to for the first time. What I saw was not a shock to me, Although the people were even more beautiful than I had imagined. Everything else looked exactly like the pictures.  A dry, desolate land, far away from anything this world would consider as valuable. The heat however, was worse than I could have imagined. It was brutal. 

Because of my childhood, I tend to view myself as someone who can take on any challenge, someone who can make the most of an awful situation.  So I felt equipped for anything that might come my way in Nasir. But after 24 hours of being there, as the heat was relentless and I could literally look in certain directions and see absolutely nothing, the reality set in that this was an impossible task. That despite my own strength, despite my history of overcoming so much, that this was too big for me. Discouragement almost overtook me in that moment, but God in a beautiful and tender way, said "It is too big for you. But not for me. Because My power is made perfect in your weakness."  And then I remembered… that little girl, who fought so hard to overcome abuse, didn't do it on her own. It was Christ IN me, the Hope of Glory. It was Him at work in my church, the body of Christ, loving me and supporting me.  How great is our God!

After that tear filled moment where I saw my complete weakness, and I saw the Lords beautiful grace towards me, I was able to see Nasir differently. I had a Hope rising up inside of me. That the power of the living God was here. That he desires the hearts of the people in South Sudan. For years the enemy has had a grip on this place and on these people. And our prayer is that a great awakening will come to South Sudan. And then, that He will restore the years that the locust have eaten.   

Upon my return to Houston, I started the difficult logistics of preparing for an overseas move. Letting my sons Blue Ribbon school know that someone else can have his place next year. Putting cheap price tags on pretty much everything in our house as we prepare for a series of garage sales, so that we can take as little with us to Nasir as possible. Adjusting to the pay cut and saying good-bye to dearly loved friends and family. I have often felt that I have to give up so much! And then God shows me the deception in that. The women leaving their homes at 8 at night to pray together on my family’s behalf….A complete stranger, asking the Lord to give her scripture to pray for each individual  on our team…including my kids,  and then giving each of us a token  of her commitment to pray. The costly sacrifice that many of our supporters are surrendering. Bag after bag of clothes for my daughter so that we don’t have to worry about another expense. Surprise phone calls from people in the church who “just want to help”.  I think I’m giving up so much and yet that just isn’t true. I’m gaining more than I ever could have imagined, and I haven’t even left. His power is made perfect in my weakness.  Christ IN me the Hope of Glory. Him at work in the body of Christ!

Praise His name!

If I could end by just blessing you with scripture that the Lord has laid on my heart. Maybe you feel like I did as I looked across that barren land. Maybe you’re facing a seemingly impossible situation:

One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may DWELL in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. 

And because you are sons, God has sent the spirit of His Son into our hearts crying, "Abba, Father!", so you are no longer a slave but a son, and if a son then an heir through God. Nothing can separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. ¹⁰ 

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" Therefore I will gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may reside in me. So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, catastrophes, persecutions, and in pressures, because of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 

¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. ¹⁹ Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, ²⁰ for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should. 

Not to us O Lord, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness!

-KP